Daily Notes and Reflections by Alokda

The little fish, Dino, was happy in its little pond. It was a small and secure world where every fish practically knew every other fish. There were just a few varieties of them and, except for some minor variations, they all looked alike. Since they had very similar lives and problems, they perhaps even thought alike. The only risk for them was the angler at the banks and the fishermen with their nets. To escape from the former, they had learnt to stay near the middle and not stray too far towards the banks. The silent rule they all understood and faithfully followed was that safety lies in staying within the limits of the pond and curiosity and exploration were the cause of all catastrophes. But for the latter danger, they had little recourse. They could not get the better of man’s deception and the greed for food that led them to the net. Though here again they tried to reduce their chances of being caught by staying in groups. Their safety lay in numbers or that’s what they thought. But when one of them was caught, the others simply learned to resign to their fate.

Though Dino grew up amidst this lot, yet she was different from the very start. To begin with she was somewhat smaller than the rest. Her smaller size and a little unusual patch of outgrown flesh upon her fins made her somewhat different and unique and, therefore, also somewhat isolated and lonely. For though nature revels in creating variations, her individual types do not tolerate variations beyond a point. They either condemn him or admire and worship but secretly feel that the variant is an anomaly that was to be dreaded and shunned in practice. Nevertheless, she had reconciled to her fate even though she secretly nurtured dreams of another fish world with many varieties and forms of fishes, some amazingly huge and powerful, some amazingly beautiful and wonderful. Yet she would not speak of her dreams to anyone lest she became an object of ridicule and was openly declared unfit to live in the fish world. Such things were after all dreams and imagination, which some mad fishes would have but not the saner and safer ones. For, in that small little fish world, sanity was equated with safety, wisdom with the ability to remain fixed to the type and, truth and reality with the limits of the present.

But Dino could not stop dreaming and at the slightest pretext she would withdraw from her small and neat little fish world to dwell upon the object of her imagination. Till one day she was so lost in her reverie that the borders of the reality of her small fish world was over-passed and she stepped into another place and world, a world where there was water everywhere without any shore. “Oh! How huge is this pond,” she thought at first. But there was nothing of the pond familiarity in that vast waterbody except that both had water. As she sat gazing and wondering, she saw a form unknown to her approach. It was a strange being, half fish with tail fins but the upper half looked like the reflection of some fishermen. But she felt no fear at the approaching being who rather seemed all love and wisdom. The strange form noticed the perplexity and wonder in Dino’s eyes and spoke answering her curiosity. “I am your future and your destiny. It is I who sent you the dreams and the imaginations.” Looking at the amazement in Dino’s eyes, she further spoke:

“I am a mermaid; the god of the sea world and I govern the life of all fishes. But now I have come to tell you something else. Very soon your neat and safe world is going to be destroyed in a flood that I have decided to send for you.”

“For me, the flood?” the little fish was even more perplexed. She had only heard about all-destroying floods that had upset everything in the remote pasts of her ancestors. “But did you not say you were a god!”

The mermaid smiled: “Yes, and I will send you the flood since I love you very much.”

“But why? Won’t it destroy many a fish and what good will flood do to me anyway?”

There was this time a tinge of apprehension in Dino’s eyes.

“What good does your remaining stuck in a pond does anyway? So, I have decided to take you to your place of high destiny and, hence, the flood. But fear not when the waters swell and all seems lost, I shall carry you where you are destined to be and make of you what you have always dreamt and secretly wished to be, since it was I who thus dreamt and wished in you,” replied the mermaid.

The tone of the mermaid seemed at once commanding and reassuring. But the little fish questioned one last time. “But is a flood necessary? Can’t I find my destiny without this great and all-upsetting and frightful deluge?”

“No, without the flood you can only dream about it, for you do not have the strength to follow your dream and reach where you must. Your little fins cannot carry you so far. Hence, I am sending the flood. Remember, do not fear, rather trust, surrender and wait. The flood may look fierce but it is actually my force that comes to break your limits and thus set you free.” So saying, the sea-god vanished and in her trail left a lingering joy mixed with anticipation in the little fish. Her words kept echoing in her dream, “Remember, do not fear, rather trust, surrender and wait.”

* * *

And she waited and a few more days passed. These days were full of strange forebodings. The fish world was witnessing unexpected things. With each passing day the little fish would grow restless about the coming event. She even wondered if what she saw was true and not another of her imaginations. And so it went on till the day of destiny arrived. It seemed a clear day like any other day and the little fish world was busy with its little things and familiar world of everyday life. And then suddenly all was changed. The suddenness of the event left no room for anything at all. The fish world collapsed, got swallowed in that sudden and mighty upsurge of water. All was over within a few moments that seemed like eternity. And when the little fish stunned by the shock and carried by the large wave came back to its senses, she found herself in sweet and strange waters of a stream that must have existed nearby but was till then unknown to her little fish world. As she began orienting herself, she observed what magnificent variety of creatures lived there, some were like the fish but colourful and beautiful, others were strange inhabitants of the freshwater stream that was clear and limpid.

“How strange is this world,” she thought. But the next moment wondered how she and the other fishes had lived so long without even knowing that such a beautiful world existed nearby. But then as if in a flash something else caught her imagination. “If there existed such a world nearby yet unknown to me then where are the limits? Is this the end, the place of my destiny or do I explore and go further?” She swam with this thought day in and day night till one day she dreamt again. She did not see the mermaid this time but only heard her all familiar voice tell her, “Trust your dream. Did I not say that I sent them to you? Go further if you feel that further exists.”

Further to where, she thought and as if something within her own being replied to her: “Follow the current and the stream will lead you to its source and its secret.”

And so her journey continued till the stream began to swell and she could feel something approaching where the world of the stream ended and another world began. At first little Dino grown a little more drinking the sweet waters of the lovely stream, tumbled into the river catapulted by a massive force that shook her again. Fear overtook her, this time more than the first time for she did not have the surety of the vision. It was not any angelic being telling her to move but something within her that had impelled her to explore further. Was she right to listen to this impulse? Were not her family and tribe members right that one should not tread unknown territories; that only in limits are we safe? All these questions flashed before her even as she fell over a waterfall into the river. The very sense of something far more powerful and wider was as if frightening. But then she remembered again, “Do not fear, rather trust, surrender and wait.” But it was not easy out there. The current was too strong, the water quite cold, the riverbed too deep for comfort and the inhabitants not only strange but a few of them frighteningly huge for her small stature. For while she thought if it was worth journeying further, if the stream world to which she has grown accustomed, and which was beautiful, was not the perfect world of her dreams, her highest destiny. Yet, something within her compelled to go further, something within her would not go back, something within wished to go to the very end of this interesting journey into the unknown and the unexplored, into this adventure of a new, a dangerous yet charming, world whose last secret she wished to know. But what was the path to follow from here, the path that would lead her to the last secret, to some greater world of her dreams. Thus, musing she spent a few days whence she chanced upon a strange creature that could move in and out of water at will. This was truly strange, an impossible thing for the fish. How could this creature live without the life giving water, she thought. The creature appeared harmless and often retreated in a shell-like structure that it carried over its head as if shy of the other inhabitants of the river.

* * *

One day Dino dared to approach it. “Who are you, oh great sir, I truly admire your capacities that I have not. Could you teach me how to live without water?” She blurted all her questions at once.

“They call me the tortoise and I am simply endowed with this capacity to breath in water and outside it. There is nothing special about it, to me at least, since that’s how I am made. And since I did nothing to make myself the way I am, I cannot teach you the secret of being this way as I frankly do not know it myself.”

Dino was a little disappointed at the simple and straight confession of the tortoise who seemed nothing short of a miracle to the fish. But she was encouraged by his truthfulness to ask further. She knew he would not deceive her. So she ventured to ask if he knew where the source of this river was and wither it goes. “Pray tell me great sir, if you know the course of this river and where to it flows. I see no end to its waters and though for days I have tried to find its end, I have miserably failed. I can span its width and know the shores but then is the river endless in its onward flow?”

The tortoise became pensive and after a while replied: “Perhaps, I know something of that since I have seen many a season and in my long life I have met many creatures, some of whom have spoken to me of the river’s flow.” Then, falling silent for a while, as if to recollect all that he knew, the sage-like tortoise spoke again. “Well, the shore is not the river’s origin nor its end though many mistake it to be so. The river flows from the unseen snowy peaks of the great and mighty mountains and it ends by emptying itself into the great and mighty sea.”

The tortoise paused for a while. The sea, something flashed like recognition before Dino. Did she not hear the mermaid tell her that she was a sea god? And she had wondered what this sea was. Now the whole thing came back again and with it the thrill of her vision and the dreams of another world. “Pray tell me about the sea, oh great one,” she hastened to ask.

“Ask me not of the sea since I have only heard of it and, hence, I should not speak of it to you. I only know that there is a sea, but it is an indirect knowledge. All that I can tell you is that there are two paths you can take from here.”

“The two paths,” asked Dino, “and what are they?”

“Well, the two paths are the path of annihilation and the path of fulfillment.” The former takes you back to the origin of the river, to high mountain, but you cannot reach the snow summits there. You would, as you travel along this path become more and more alone as few creatures can survive in that cold. Then one day you would simply fall away from your fish nature.”

“And what does that mean?” asked Dino.

“Oh, that’s one way to die and finish yourself, one way to exit the journey. But do not ask me where you go from there once you drop your fish nature. Perhaps you simply merge with the spirit of the mountains, perhaps you come back again. Who knows, but one thing is sure, and it is this, that you will cease to exist as a fish thereafter, at least that is what it seems. But I do not know further.”

“And where does the other path lead me to, the path of fulfillment?”

“That leads to the door of your destiny. As you go through this path you would find more and more fishes accompanying you, some of them much bigger and more powerful than you or any you have known. And then, if you persist you would reach the sea. But I do not know what you would find there for I know nothing about the sea. Only one thing I know and it is this that while both paths are difficult, the path to fulfillment is much longer though, perhaps, more satisfying,” answered the tortoise.

“So would you not want to take that path, we could travel together,” Dino said, a little excitedly.

“No, my dear friend, each of us has our road to travel. The Spirit of Nature has given me a long life but it has not given me the seeking. I am satisfied with wherever I am. Some call it a great quality but personally, I wish I had the zeal and ardour, the dare and courage, the trust and faith that you have in your seeking that has led you so far. As for me, I am born here and I will die here. Even if I were to follow you, my slow nature would not allow me to go very far. But you my friend are distinctly marked to go further. Pass over us and reach where thou must.” Thus saying, the tortoise fell silent and the little fish quietly reflected upon the two paths.

* * *

‘To be or not to be’ seemed the choice before her and this time there was no mermaid to tell her as to where the land of her destiny was. Which way should she go? The path of annulment was shorter and perhaps less arduous, but how can that be her destiny or for that matter the destiny of any fish. What was the difference between this and the fate of the fishes carried in the net of the cunning fisherman? If this was it, then why was all this labour of the fish swimming for life and in fact this fish world at all? No, the Spirit of Nature cannot be so meaningless and absurd. But then she could equally argue against her own logic by saying that may be this is the end of the world, and the river is the highest destiny of any fish. After all, the great tortoise had not seen the sea either. Maybe he is wrong about it. Maybe there is no sea. But what about the visitation of the mermaid? No, the sea must be there but … is it worth all the trouble? All these thoughts and counter thoughts kept her swimming furiously all the while. But then, tired of all this effort she fell silent and entered her world of dream again. She came out without remembering what she saw in her dream but one sentence or a fragment of it slipped into her waking world,

“You are never given an urge without the capacity to fulfill it.”

And indeed, she felt an urge to move forward through the path of fulfillment. She knew not where the urge came from but it was there all the same. In fact, it was always there and would only revive itself from time to time.

As if to give her the last push to go further, she remembered again the words that followed her like a mantra, — “Do not fear…. Trust, Surrender, … Wait.”

And her wait for the journey began.

* * *

At first, she knew not which way to go. The river was too big and it was difficult to say the direction in it. She asked a few but none could tell her which way was the path of self-fulfillment. She turned to the left and then turned to the right, she swam above and then swam below, but alas could not surmise which way to go. No sign came, no visions to guide, no being to help her find the pathway right. Tired and dazed of her seemingly long and meaningless search she looked flustered and spent. Oh! if only the sea-god could help her find the way but even if she would she wondered if there was strength in her to follow the long and difficult path. Confused and wondering, yet she kept up her need to explore the farthest end and her trust in destiny. And destiny did arrive, or at least the day of her destiny, but in the most unexpected way. It looked as if doom, not destiny, had come that day which had seemed like any other day. Perhaps out of tiredness, she was swimming oblivious of the net that was spread over the river by some adventurous men who were moving downstream in a steamer.

This was surely the end of the world and of all my explorations, she thought as the net tightened around her and other fishes. She felt the sharp sting of death as her whole being ached for a single breath. And yet even in that moment of doom and despair she felt a touch of sorrow that she was dying before fulfilling her need to reach the land of her dreams, the great sea. Or was it all an imagination, a rash and thoughtless adventure. And she swooned the next moment as life hung in her fainting fins by a slender thread. Meanwhile the fisherman had rolled the net and as he was going to put the fishes in his basket, he noticed this strange fish with spotted fins. What appeared as a deformity to her friends and kin appeared to this man as a rarity and wonder. In split second a thought crossed his mind that it would be more profitable to sell this little fish in an aquarium as a curio rather than in the fish market. And before even he could decide he had the fish thrown into a tub kept nearby where he had collected some such strange and rare specimen of the water world. Oh! The gasp of breath was as if the very breath of Grace in her life. Perhaps the sea-god had indeed helped her. But then she was now a prisoner unsure of her predicament. And she could do nothing. To even try jumping out of the fishbowl was certain death. Shy and afraid she waited in a corner wondering where fate would lead her next. The fishbowl was a strange world in itself. There were some peculiar creatures the kind of whom she had never seen before. There were a few turtles, some corals, some colourful fishes, and many others. Each looked confused and frightened, unsure of their fate. Yet each had a story to tell that disclosed an entirely different world to the little fish. But also, for the first time, she had a clear look at the sky and saw the stars at night. There was nothing to do but trust and wait. For the first time she learnt the meaning of surrender in its deepest sense. Indeed, unknown to her, the secret hand of destiny was leading her. In fact, she was literally being carried by the hand of destiny since the steamer was fast traveling towards the sea where the men were to disembark. What the little fish took to be a prison was indeed a net of safety meant to spare Dino the effort to do it all by herself. What she may not have been able to do, to swim through the length of the river was being done for her, even though she knew it not, till…

Till destiny led her to the end destination. But not without another jolt, though a minor one. For as the steamer hurled itself along the river, and as it approached close to the sea, a small flash storm sent everything topsy-turvy. The bowl fell down and broke in a jiffy and the raging winds swept little Dino and the other creatures into the river in a split second. Even before Dino could realize what had happened, she found herself being forcefully carried by the strong river current towards the place she was destined, the sea. Soon the river had emptied her contents, including Dino, into the sea and the little fish found herself in a very, very different world than any she had imagined so far. A world before which all her experience, and she had a considerable amount of it by now, seemed to pale — the world of the sea.

* * *

At first the sea appeared to be like any other water world, but Dino realized soon that it was very different. To begin with, the water tasted different. The next thing she felt was the enormous force that the sea contained. And very soon also that to swim here was very different than swimming in the river, the stream and the pond. Something was very different about this place which seemed like an endless mystery. For she could not see a being there, neither fish nor frog nor a tortoise, and all the creatures that she knew of. Was this the sea? she thought and thought till the loneliness grew frightening. The more she explored the more she felt it a fathomless mystery. Very soon she lost all orientation. But one thing she had learnt by now and it was this that when you do not know or understand what is going on around you, then trust and wait. So, she waited a seemingly endless wait till she saw a huge fish approach her. Little Dino had never seen anything of the kind before. She simply stood transfixed in a spot. But as the big fish approached, she felt something very nice about it. Her arrival did not generate any fear, but only hope, courage and trust such that the presence of strong and benevolent beings generates for those who are less endowed.

“I am Mauna, the Dolphin, a teacher of the ways of the sea. The sea-god sends me to you to welcome and carry you safely to her.”

Little Dino was deeply touched. So, the sea-god knew of everything, even the movement of a small little insignificant fish, like Dino, entering into the sea, she thought.

But Mauna seemed to have read her thoughts, — “Not only does the sea-god know of all who enter the great sea, she is also aware of all that have not yet arrived at the sea. She is indeed the guardian of all the creatures that dwell in the waters.”

“So, you are going to teach me of the sea and its ways.”

“No, I am going to teach you nothing.”

“Pray, say again,” asked Dino wondering if she heard it right, “did you not say that you are a teacher?”

“Yes, I did,” Mauna smiled, “but it is not me who will teach you, rather it is you who will teach yourself.”

“So, then what would you be doing?”

“Well, simply facilitating the process of your self-education.” Noticing Dino’s puzzled expression Mauna added, “See, you are a creature of the waters, hence all that you need to know about anything that has to do with the waters, including the great sea is known to you. But it is forgotten due to your birth in the little pond. You have recovered only that much knowledge of the waters as was necessary for you to live in the pond. But as you traveled through the stream and the river you have discovered the knowledge of these as well. Your journey was essentially a rediscovery of what you already know.” And then after a pause he added, “Knowing is remembering. It is uncovering what you already know but have forgotten.”

“But then why does one need a teacher,” Dino was growing more and more inquisitive.

“Didn’t I say, to facilitate the process. It is like a reminder, or to put it more accurately, the teacher is a reminder of what you are, secretly, and can be.”

“You mean you are a reminder to me of what I can be?” Dino asked doubtingly, for Mauna looked far too impressive in size and capacities for her to even remotely hope to become like him.

“Yes, you are myself, but in disguise. That is what I am going to each you or rather reveal to you. Only you have been conditioned so long by the pond that you do not even admit another possibility or another way of being for you. Yet, my child, I, the guardian angel of the sea, is your destiny.”

“Okay perhaps you are right, though I do not understand anything of what you say now. But I trust you and entrust myself to you. Now when and where do we begin.”

“Have we not already begun.” Mauna smiled.

“So, what is the first lesson that you would teach me.”

“Not me teaching you, but you learning yourself,” quipped Mauna and added, “The first lesson is indeed the most difficult to learn.”

“And what is that?”

“It is to unlearn”

“Hmmm,” the little fish mused as if half understanding it.

“The ways of the sea are very different from the ways of the static pool and the running streams and the flowing rivers. The pool has nowhere to go for it knows not anything beyond itself. And the river and the stream run helplessly to the sea. But where would the sea go? It has nothing beyond itself for it contains all things including the earth and all that grows in it.”

Dino did not quite grasp the meaning.

Mauna continued, “you see the sea is everywhere and moves in all directions. You cannot know which way it moves and that can be frightening.”

“Even you can’t gauge its direction and movement?” asked Dino.

“No, none can know the sea, not even me, even though I am born in the sea and live day and night by the sea and even teach the ways of the sea. I can tell you some of the ways of the sea but not about the sea itself. If you ask me about the sea, I can only say that the sea is to your right and the sea is to your left and the sea is above you and the sea is within you and the sea is around and about and outside you even as the sea is within you; and you breath the sea and eat and live the sea and yet ask me not what the sea is for I know not of it.”

“Will the sea god know of it?” asked Dino.

“No not even the sea god but the sea god will tell you something more about it.”

“And what is that?”

“Well, I can tell you something about the ways of the sea, about its mighty force and how to be in it and live by it, but the sea god will tell you about the being of the sea. But there is one last mystery of the sea and none can talk about it. That mystery can only be lived and experienced, not talked or taught.”

“And what is that mystery, I mean what is it called, is there a name to it?”

“The wise call it delight. It has no names and many names — a delight of being born in the sea, and a delight of being upheld by the sea and even a delight of being drowned by the sea.”

The mystery of the sea was getting deeper and deeper. Mauna suddenly became silent and Dino was lost in a contemplative reverie. Perhaps it was the first touch of the delight that Mauna spoke of. Slowly they drifted, led by the ocean current, to Mauna’s resting place covered with beautiful sea plants and coral reefs. It was time to rest.

* * *

That night Dino had a strange visitation in a dream. The Mermaid appeared again but this time it was an appalling sight. The sea god appeared to be as vast as the skies as if she had wrapped the heaven and earth in her body. Her hairs flowed and mingled with the stars, her body occupied the mid-worlds while her lower half that resembled a fish went deep into the ocean floor and even perhaps below. The sight was wonderful and frightful at the same time. The visitation appeared for a while and then vanished. But it left a deep impact, a quivering trace, upon the body and soul of Dino. In fact, she was woken up by Mauna who simply nudged and shook her out of her reverie with these words: “Hurry! Come on get up and get ready. The sea is rising in the shape of a giant wave.”

“How do you know?” asked Dino who could sense nothing unusual in the waters which seemed just as the previous day.

“No time to answer that. Just trust that I know it or to put it in another way I have special faculties that can show me things and one of them is to see an approaching storm.” Mauna answered and began to swim leaving no room for further questions. He swam slowly so Dino could follow. But Dino insisted: “So where do we go when the sea rises into a stormy wave? We can’t go outside the sea, can we?”

“No that would be foolish. When the storm rises, we must go deeper. The storm is on the surface, but in the depths, there is always peace and safety.” And then added as if mysteriously, “the sea that destroys with one mighty sweep what it has created over centuries is also the sea that shelters and protects and saves from its fiercer mood.”

Even before Dino could realize the full significance of Mauna’s words, they were swept down tumbling into the ocean deep only to find themselves as suddenly in a zone of peace and safety. It seemed as if the storm never existed. It was as if the sea though one was many at the same time. It had within it zones after zones, layers after layers, guarding secrets after secrets in its deep fathomless bosom. It was a wonderful lesson that the terrible storm taught Dino, her very first lesson of the sea, or so it seemed.

* * *

The days that followed went off rather smoothly. Mauna had a wonderful way of teaching. He simply swam and inspired Dino to swim with him. Usually, he would not interfere with Dino’s ways and even did not correct her mistakes. He would intervene only if Dino was in a danger. And since Mauna had this ability to sense danger from far ahead most of the time Dino did not even know that she has been saved and some danger averted! Dino learnt many interesting things about the sea. Her very first lesson was in surrender and humility. She learnt that the best way to swim in the sea was not to swim! And when you had reached the extreme level of your effort and feel you can swim no longer it is then that you feel most supported by the force of the sea. Of course, the sea supported you even without effort yet it was not the same. The effort was as if required to develop the muscles and nerves to bear the mighty force of the sea without breaking down or being disoriented. The effort helped her to simply remain in the sea, the rest was done by the sea itself. Effort was necessary to prepare us for giving full force to our surrender and to receive the full delight that follows it. Once Dino learnt this trick, she began to understand what Mauna meant when he spoke of the delight of the sea. She learned that the sea water, though salty and different in taste was as it was to help the creatures of the sea swim with minimum effort. Dino also learnt that the sea had countless creatures some huge yet gentle, others small yet dangerous, as if size was an illusion. She also learnt that the sea held all its million creatures together in its embrace without judging them and providing for each one. Most of all Dino learnt that the greatest treasures of the sea lay in its deepest parts where pearls and other invaluable gems lay hidden as if in some dark cave. Through daily contact with Mauna, her teacher, Dino spontaneously began developing some of those marvelous faculties that Mauna had and spoke of. She began to know Mauna’s thoughts even before he spoke. She could communicate with the many creatures of the sea silently without a word and they seemed to listen and even obey her. Even creatures that were much too big and far too ferocious gave way to her as if to someone special and exceptional. It is then that Dino really began to understand much of what Mauna had hinted at earlier, for instance, this that size does not matter. One truly knows only when one has experienced it oneself and not merely learnt of it from someone else. Doing is knowing. Dino learnt this by doing faithfully what Mauna inspired her by his own example. Then the day of the final lesson arrived.

That day was like any other day. Dino came out of her reverie and went for a deep-sea swim. This was one of the things that she had learnt from Mauna — to take a deep dive every morning. It refreshed her endlessly. There was so much silence and peace and force in the depths of the sea. On her return she looked for Mauna but could not find him. May be Mauna has gone elsewhere. But this was unusual. During so many days of her being with him he never kept Dino out of his reach. But today somehow Dino felt otherwise. Where was he, where had he disappeared? The anxiety grew with every passing minute. No nothing could happen to Mauna. He was a perfect master. He knew everything that had to be known and could be known about the sea. But then the sea was the unknowable. So did the sea swallow Mauna? Dino suddenly felt very unsafe, much more than she had felt either in the pond or the river even with the fishermen’s net around. If Mauna could thus disappear without a word or a trace then nothing was certain and everything was fragile and vulnerable not to speak of her. She waited more but to no avail. She furiously swam in this direction and that but still to no avail. And when she had done all that she could, she simply went back to their place of rest silently in wait for the next turn of fate. She remembered her mantra that had always helped her in every crisis, “Do not fear, rather trust and wait.”

* * *

Three days passed without a sign of Mauna though Dino began to sense some new change in her. She felt that her body was not the same anymore. But what was it she could not know till she saw her reflection in a floating coral whose smooth and crystal clear surface reflected everything. And this was Dino’s real surprise for she had grown so much like a miniature Mauna, a little dolphin that, but for its size, had everything similar to the dolphin and even its capacities. She could not believe her eyes at first. But soon the truth began to dawn upon her. So, this was the reason why Mauna had left her. His work was over and well done and he left silently without even waiting for a word of gratitude from her, a gratitude which she always felt for him. But then did he not say that there was one last lesson to be learnt! What was it? wondered Dino? What was it that Mauna wanted her to decipher from his sudden departure in this way? Surely, he would not leave her without revealing all that he had to and could for Mauna was a perfect teacher and would not leave anything unfinished. So, what was Mauna trying to say for this was indeed his characteristic way of teaching, not so much through words as by example, influence and a silent inspiration. And then as she reflected on everything and, the strangest of things, a thought flashed across her being. A thought that her being and Mauna had become one. There was no more any difference between them. What was outside is now within always and permanently as her intimate self and that she had perhaps only to look within and enter into her own depths even as she entered the depths of the sea and she would find Mauna and all the answers that she got from him by turning without. Mauna and she had become essentially one.

A deep intense longing suddenly seized Dino, a longing to rediscover Mauna within her being. So far, she had related to him only as a teacher and revered him with respect and awe. But the distance created by awe and respect had suddenly vanished as the walls that separated them as two different beings crumbled. She felt an urge, something like a deep ache, to be near him who had become so very intimate to her being. In fact, if at this point someone asked what is it that she wanted most then she would say without a hesitation or doubt that it was Mauna. Without realizing he had silently grown into her nerves and cells, into the very stuff of her being, her essence and deepest truth, so much so that if she had to leave behind everything including her fish life in which she had discovered so much, she would happily do so just to have one glimpse of Mauna. The longing grew to a point of life and death. As if her entire being had grown to one single point of concentration — an aspiration that rose like a column of fire seeking for its goal in a moment of utter self-forgetfulness. For that one moment she could give up everything. Nothing else mattered except that. Without even realizing it Dino had fallen into a trance and as if in a moment of apocalypse, which seemed like eternity, she beheld before her eyes the great sea god appear again. But this time it was not as in a dream, it was right there concrete before her eyes, not an apparition but someone so very living and real, who though apart seemed to be her very breath and life. It was as if her own existence had become unreal before that wonderful reality. Or perhaps that form was the life of her life and, in fact, the life of all life. Silence fell upon her entire being. Amazement and wonder mixed with adoration and awe filled her as the lovely form spoke: “O child of the great sea! here comes the end of thy journey.”

The sweet and melodious voice melted into silence again and Dino’s heart replied: “O great one, my heart is seized with an intense longing for my teacher Mauna. Somewhere I know that he is me and I am him but my heart aches for him even as my being longs for the last lesson that he has left unfinished.”

“But he has left nothing unfinished. This is the last lesson for which he had to leave you and disappear into your own being.”

“I don’t get it.” Dino knew and knew not.

And the great god spoke again: “The last lesson is the lesson of love, that sweet and fierce longing that you feel for him who has hid himself in you so as to become the very essence of your being. Love that touches its peak in self-forgetfulness. Love that made Mauna loose himself in you so that you may become like him. Without this great sacrifice you could not be like him but only a shadow or a reflection.”

“Does that mean that I would never find him again?”

“But have you not found him? Who do you think Mauna is, yet another fish, simply a more developed fish, a perfect fish. All that is only Mauna’s shadow.” And then added in a more familiar voice, “don’t you see Mauna in me. It is I who came to you as Mauna. Now ask me a wish and it shall be granted.” The voice was too familiar to be missed. Dino looked closely and saw in the great god’s eyes a clear reflection of Mauna and all her remaining doubts had vanished. A great joy seized her being a joy as she had never known before. In an ecstasy of hope a cry broke from her as of one who having travelled very far finds the goal of her journey right in front. “O great being, I have no more wishes left having seen you and having been loved by you what more could I want but to simply merge in you and become one with your being, a part and parcel of you.”

“So be it. Ask another boon, my loved child. Ask and it shall be granted.”

“O great Mother, I know what it means to be a fish. I have seen the struggles and the pains of the fish life right from my birth in the little pool. Pray give me the strength to do something for my kind.”

“So be it, my most dear child. Ask another boon, my favourite one. Your selfless boon makes me happy. For your own perfection would have been incomplete without the perfection of the entire fish world. Ask yet again and it shall be granted.”

And a third time Dino asked the great god: “I long to be always part of your work. To serve you always and everywhere is all I ask.”

“Think again my child for it may mean renouncing the bliss that you experience now. It means perhaps going back to the pond and be as a fish amidst other fishes.”

But Dino replied from her very core: “Why should I fear that O my beloved one for I know now that you too would be by my side always and everywhere. Have I not already known this? Was it not you in the storm and the net, in the river and the sea? Nay in my very longings and my hopes, even in my fears and my ordeals were you not there? And now that I have known this may I never forget this at any time.”

“Truly you are the very best fish of my fish kingdom and I am proud of you, my child. So be it and all else that you may ask shall be granted for you have asked the very highest that one may ask as a fish. From now on, I appoint you as one of the great teachers to do my work in the fish kingdom. And this I promise that never shall I leave you and wherever you maybe you shall find me always by your side.”

The great vision faded from her sight leaving in its wake a lingering joy that was the very essence of love. Dino started her journey back to the pool led by the sea god whom she now felt and knew everywhere. And unknown to them and their little care laden life a hope stole through the entire fish world, a hope of another way of being, a hope of a new life. The struggle of life changed its face and became for the fish world the struggle for evolution into the most perfect fish that ever could be.

Alok Pandey

The Master shared many secrets of living. One of them was to be as a flower shedding its fragrance for all while drawing all its needs from the soil and the sun. “Be like a flower,” he would say, “open, frank, generous, equal and kind.” Or else sometimes he would teach the disciples to emulate the best quality in each creature, the faithfulness of a dog, the sensitivity of a cat, the swiftness of a deer, quiet strength of a lion, the purity and discernment of the swan, the concentration of the kingfisher and the perseverance of the crow. He would also teach through material nature saying that the language of God is everywhere. This was the Veda written through material objects as letters. Be as the mountain, firm and high, carrying the aspiration of earth heavenwards. Or be as the star, stationed high yet guiding man and showing him the direction and the path through stormy seas. Or else, be as the river, he would say, that knows its origin and the goal and rushes towards it circuiting through every obstacle on its way.

The disciples would thus learn through images of earth something which could be reflected in their own human nature. One day the subject turned towards how to know one’s own true nature. “Each one of us has something divine in us”, he said, “and it is our business to cultivate it and live according to it.” But he cautioned that there is also in each one something covering this true divine nature, diverting us from our true divine impulsion into lanes and by-lanes that were never meant for us, thereby, creating much confusion within the individual and the society. In the course of such a conversation, the subject turned to ‘Adhikara bheda’ or the distinction that needs to be made between different aspirants and seekers. It is for this reason that the Master was not in favour of a standardized practice to be given to one and all who came to him. To some he would ask to meditate, while to others he would assign a work, some he would ask to till the fields while to others he would ask to work in the kitchen. Yet others were asked to read and write or paint and draw while some others were even sent for a vigorous training in physical education. Each, therefore, had his own unique path through which one moved towards his self-development towards a higher spiritual evolution which he foresaw as the imminent future of man. The disciples unable to understand asked him as to why it was so. The Master replied that the ancient Indian Society was built upon this profound understanding that each individual is at a different stage of evolution and has his or her own unique calling. Not all can or should do the same thing, he stated, which was, of course, an obvious fact. It is this that was known as Adhikara Bheda, which was lost to the modern mind.

And then to illustrate he went on to narrate the Eklavya story from the Mahabharata.

“Do you remember how Dronacharya asked Eklavya his right-hand thumb as guru dakshina?”

“Oh yes Master,” one remarked, expressing his dismay at the injustice meted out to the apprentice by Dronacharya.

The Master smiled and explained the story thus.

“You see Dronacharya was the teacher appointed for the royal princes. In those days, the task of war was left to the Kshatriyas to avoid a large-scale conflict. It was the Kshatriya alone who could learn the various skills of war which sometimes involved high technology skills as were available in those times. It would be a disaster if this high technology of wielding powerful and devastating weapons, some of which were as good as our modern nuclear arms, was offered to all. Hence it was not made available to all and sundry, even if one could pay a fee. Hence, Eklavya was denied the right to study under Dronacharya. But you see he could have tried to find another teacher as Karna did. But instead, he chose to steal knowledge in hiding.”

“Master we can understand that. But still what was the need to take away his thumb and incapacitate him from using what he had already learned?” One among them asked.

“Don’t you know how the circumstances unfolded? There was a hound that was accompanying the entourage of Dronacharya. The dog smelt that someone was hiding and began to bark. Seeing him thus and worried about his identity and stealth being disclosed Eklavya shot a volley of arrows stuffing the mouth of the dog. What do you think of such a warrior if the actions of a man were a judge of things?” the Master asked.

One of them answered, “It was quite a cruel thing to do.”

“Yes, a cruel misuse of one’s prowess. No wonder Dronacharya felt it wiser to stay the errant warrior then and there, lest he become a menace for mankind.”

Then returning to the disciples, the Master remarked, “You see a Master is like a wide river that carries whatever enters in his flow. But then not all are ready to bear the shock of the journey. Hence some are accepted while others are not. People who do not understand the ways of a Master think he is being partial. But, in fact, even his rejections are simply postponements and are a sign of compassion and grace. The Master waits and prepares the disciple, even though, he is not yet part of the mighty spiritual current until they are ready and grow strong enough to bear the force and the flood of the Divine Force and the love and the intensity of His Light.”

 

Alok Pandey

 

The Master had just finished reading the Karna Parva (the book of Karna}. The story always carried a touch of sadness at the fall of a hero, an apparent inglorious death, in ways not befitting a hero. After all he was the eldest Pandava, who knew not his identity until the beginning of the war. He was trained by no less a warrior than Parashuram and, most of all, he was guarded by none other than the Sun-God whose child he was. Generous to a default, Karna’s only fault seems to have been standing by Duryodhana’s side and, thereby, helping the forces of adharma. But was it not in deference to his friendship and his promise to always be by the side of his friend Duryodhana? So, what was the reason for this strange fate that had punished virtue with a life of such ignominy? Though Bhisma too met an inglorious death and one that entailed great suffering, both physical and psychological, yet his fall was justified as if there ever was one person who could have stopped this war it was Bhisma. Instead, he chose to stand by his promise given to the throne of Hastinapur even if the dynasty was involved in adharma. The result was a bed of arrows at the hands of his most loved grandchild, who was aided by Shikhandi, the transwoman warrior. But Karna was simply following the law of friendship. Why should he have met such a death? The modern question was swirling in the heads of the disciples. For the men in the ancient times it was evident that the fate of a man standing by the side of adharma was a long-foregone conclusion. Even if he won for the moment as Shakuni and his scheming nephews did, eventually it was Truth that had the last stroke, satyameva jayate nanrtam, it is truth that wins and not falsehood. And Karna was surely standing on the wrong side of history. He stood with his shining armour to defend the indefensible and paid the price with his death. For the ancient mind this was clear. But the disciples were modern minded and demanded equal rights for everybody. They felt that destiny and God were unfair towards Karna.

The Master had seen this question brewing up in their mind. As was his way to address things often from examples of nature he pointed his fingers towards a storm that was brewing up in the far end of the sky.

“Look, how the storm is covering the sky and dimming the sun.”

The disciples nodded at the very evident phenomenon which they had often witnessed during this part of the year. But herein lay the difference between them and the Master. The Master saw in it a lesson of life that the wisdom hidden within Nature tries to reveal to us. But the average person saw only a natural phenomenon that can be explained by the laws of physics.

“Do you see how the sandstorm overpowers the mighty sun, even if temporarily? Of course, the sun remains untouched by it but its rays are unable to reach the earth in their fullness.”

The disciples had begun to notice the drift.

“So too”, the Master continued, “even the strong and the wise may be clouded by the storms of passion and ambition, lust and greed which may take block their intelligence and prevent it from making the right choice.”

The disciples were all ears. The Master continued, “This is what happened to Karna. Though high of birth and mighty in deeds, his stainless soul was clouded by his strong ambition to prove himself to the world that he is the greatest by defeating Arjuna. The chariot of his life began to be driven by ambition and had to meet its nemesis one day. He swerved away from Dharma as invariably ambition leads one away from the straight path of the soul. The result was that his journey ended abruptly, crashed as it were in the quagmire of ambition. Arjuna’s last blow, the fatal arrow only completed the work, hastening him back to his beautiful soul, in a way putting him on the right track preventing him from bearing the burden of adharma even more. In fact, Bhisma stopping him from the battle, Sri Krishna’s offer to him to switch over to the Pandava side was not only a ploy to ensure the safety of Arjuna who was an instrument of God in the battlefield of Kurukshetra, but also to prevent Karna from bearing the tremendous burden of defending the champions of evil and thereby himself becoming a party to it.”

Then pausing for a moment in deep reflection, the Master added, “Karna was saved by his own death. He was destined to die because of his choice. Yet had he died normally it would have been a miserable death, a humiliating defeat. He had to die because he was standing between the Lord’s Will and haughty, ambition-driven, lust-laden Kuru clan typified in the likes of Duryodhana. By dying the way he did, at least his name was saved. It was an act of Compassion of Vasudeva, the indwelling Universal Divine, the lover of all mankind and the friend of all creatures.”

“But still wasn’t his choice based on his feeling of gratitude towards his friend Duryodhana?” asked one.

The Master gently smiled and looking towards the sky where the storm had begun to clear up, he asked the disciple if he really thought so? The disciple stood perplexed as the Master answered.

“Would it not have been a better expression of gratitude if he abstained from the unjust war and thereby, possibly prevented it? Should he have not counseled his friend that this war would not only do no good for him but bring ignominy and gloom? He did not, even though being the child of the sun-god he well understood which side stands for the truth and the right. He did not because he saw in the war his one chance of proving himself in a mortal combat with Arjuna that he is the greatest between the two. If he was feeling gratitude for having been given a kingdom by Duryodhana to satisfy his ambition, an even better choice would have been to return back the kingdom and unburden himself rather than take his side in an unjust war. Have you not heard the story of Esau and Jacob wherein Esau loses his birthright bartering it for a pot of porridge to appease his hunger? It is just the same story wherein one loses one’s soul, the birthright, for the sake of satisfying one’s ambition by joining the forces of evil.”

“But was not life unfair to him, his being cast away by his mother at the very moment of his birth?” One in the group observed in a half-hearted voice knowing that this had little to do with Karna’s eventual fate.

“Yes indeed, if you look at life from a human perspective of fair dealings, life was surely unfair to Karna. But was it not unfair to the Pandava brothers even more? And what did the prince Duryodhana do with whom life was more than fair? So you see, the game of life is not fair and unfair but about the challenges through which we grow by making our choices. The greater the possibility, the more challenging is the dice. The greater grow wiser and stronger by the stroke. The weak succumb to their desires and choose unwisely. That in short sums up the story of Karna.”
The Master paused and the storm had begun to calm and the sun was shown more clearly in the eastern sky. The rays had begun to dance again upon earth and one looking at the rays imagined Karna’s soul uplifted towards the sun through his death shedding his burdened cloak upon earth.

Alok Pandey

The disciples sometimes wondered about the Master’s behaviour. He would gather all kinds of people around him even those who seemed worse than ordinary men. One voiced his doubt. The Master smiled as he replied: “Wouldst thou measure the worth of a seed by the thickness of its casing, the height of a man by the size of his shoe, the dimensions of his inner being by the girth of his belly? So too judge not the inner truth of a man by his outer behaviour nor measure his soul’s aspiration by his outer virtues. A great light may throw up a great shadow behind it. And a most ordinary looking shell may hide beneath its wings a rare invaluable pearl.”

The sceptics wondered why some disciples progressed faster than others. The Master pointed at a rich harvest and answered: “The souls that come to me are like a seed. I am the farmer who ploughs the soil and sows the seeds giving an equal opportunity of the light of sun and the rain of Grace to all. Some seeds however are afraid of the Light and fail to burst open. Other are over eager to draw the sun to themselves and get burnt out. Some, the rare few, trust my hands and the time taken for fruition and do not cling to the dark womb of safety. They are the happiest and the luckiest ones that throw the richest harvest.”

“How does one know that the soul has awakened?” asked another. The Master pointed at the early morning sun and observed: “How does one know that the sun has arisen? By a light that illumines our sight driving away the grey phantom shadows of the night; by the song of the birds that greet the dawn. By the rush of a joy that is full of glad peace and a stillness that carries happiness in its bosom. By the silver lining of hope that begins to appear from behind the clouds. By a scattering of the fog and mist and the warmth of a glow within the heart. By the feeling of an urge to grow and an invitation to work and progress. By discovering the love that binds the sky to the earth and all that exists upon it. By seeing the Fire and Light ascend to higher and higher skies. So too with the awakening of the soul one feels a growing peace and joy within the heart, one begins to see hope behind even the darkest appearances, there is birth of faith and aspiration and prayer. A warmth and sweetness and enthusiasm for Godward effort and the urge for progress. Most of all love is born, true love, in the human heart and there is a smile in every circumstance.
 

The disciple entered and found the Master cleaning the room. A little embarrassed, he rushed forward and offered help, “Oh, Master, please let me do this.”

The Master smiled while continuing to clean, “But this is nothing compared to the cleaning that I do every day in countless rooms of each one.”

A little quizzically, the disciple stood wondering at the deep import of the Master’s words. By now the work at hand was over. The Master gently kept the cleaning cloth aside, neatly folded as if it was his way of expressing love and gratitude towards the little objects that served him. How much care he bestowed on everyone and everything, men and physical objects, animals and plants and who knows the gods and demons alike as if He saw the indivisible unity of all things. There was nothing big or small in his eyes, nothing trivial and merely mundane.

By now the disciples had gathered around him returning from their respective workplaces. Just as cows return home from their pasture, these souls had flocked around the Master for the deeper nourishment of their famished souls.

As the Master settled in his chair, the disciple prompted, “Master, you were speaking about cleaning the rooms.”

With a faint smile curved upon his beautiful lips, the Master responded: “Oh, that! Men spend so much time and energy in procuring food and lodging for their bodies but do very little for nourishing their souls or cleaning the house in which their soul dwells.”

A brief pause followed. And the Master added: “All the values here are in an inverse order as if this world were an inverted image of God.”

“What house is this that you speak of Master, pray enlighten us?” asked one as if asking the obvious.

The Master said, “This bodily house in which the soul dwells.”

“But is not everyone busy taking care of this bodily house all the time,” asked another.

“Do we?” The Master countered. “We do not take care of this bodily house in which the soul dwells. We rather spoil it through excess preoccupations, anxiety and fear on one hand and through excess of thrill, pleasure and comfort on the other. You see this house is not built by matter alone. Nature has tried and tested a million forms over millions of years before she could build this form in which the gods consented to dwell and through which we could once again discover God.”

“Oh yes, there is that story in one of the Upanishads that speaks of the gods consenting to enter the human body. But we thought it is just a fable.” One among them wondered.

“Not just a fable but a deep psycho-spiritual truth. The gods are powers and aspects of the Divine. Their willingness to enter the human body means that they are willing and ready to express their powers and forces through this bodily instrument and to fashion it towards a higher perfection.” The Master responded. And then, a little pensively observed, “How soon do we spoil this wonderful instrument through wrong habits, wrong indulgences, wrong suggestions, through excesses and immoderations of every kind, through wrong thoughts, wrong feelings, wrong impulses, and wrong will.”

One with a traditional background asked, “By wrong, you mean moral sins, isn’t it Master?”

The Master answered, a little to their astonishment, “No, for one can be moral and follow all the rules of living and yet he may not care for his house.”

“What does that mean, Master?” The discipline looked surprised. “If one leads a totally controlled and regulated bodily life and does not allow the body any form of immoral appetites, then is that not enough?”

“No, my child, it is not enough, for still he may live for the ego and the house may be given for the purposes of his selfish motives and not for the soul to dwell in it.” Spoke the Master who had seen through the dualities of nature as well as the unity behind all things.

Then after a pause, he added revealing new horizons of thought and sight, “As I said this body is not built by matter alone. And what is matter itself but a condensation of the spirit. We are all made of a spiritual substance. The flesh is nothing else but Spirit concretized.” The Master kept quiet for a moment while the disciples pondered, so accustomed were they to the idea of Spirit and matter as being opposed and antagonistic. Did they hear the Master right?

“We don’t quite understand!” exclaimed one, while the other demurred “We always thought that the body was a trap and a deceit, a useless garment that must be discarded as soon as possible like a worn-out cloth setting the spirit free!”

“Oh, this concept has done so much harm to this country and has weakened our hold on material realities. But this is a misreading of the ancient scriptures. After all, why would the Spirit create this or any other world at all if it had no purpose save a trap? And if it is really so, then one has to agree that it is not some All-wise spirit but an insane mind that created this world. But this is not true. The Upanishads boldly declare that the Spirit chose to enter into these countless worlds after it created them and chose to dwell within the human body.” The Master was in a mood to reveal truths unheard.

He continued, adding revelation upon revelation, “Yes, it is the Spirit that has become Matter and then entered into it and these countless worlds through many steps and each of its step is a world in its own right. Now, in return matter is trying to rediscover or become the Spirit and climbs through all the intermediary steps and their worlds whose influence kneads matter. This body itself is built not only by pure matter as you know it but also by an influence from life-worlds and mind-worlds and is now being moulded and prepared under the pressure of the spirit-world.”

One trying to grasp the subtlety of the truth asked, “Is that why our thoughts, impulses and feelings have an effect upon the body?”

“Yes, indeed,” the Master looked happy. “If our thoughts are ugly and unclean, our feelings narrow and turbulent, our will small and tied to petty gains and selfish aims, then the house of the soul becomes a thing small and dark, with little space or fresh air, with not enough sunlight, like a dingy and dusty corner full of the smoke of desires and passions, full of the fumes of anger and jealousy and hatred.”

“I see now, what you meant when you said that men spend a lifetime to build a house of mud but take little care of this bodily house. Perhaps that is why we remain so unhappy even in a palace.”

“Yes,” the Master’s face beamed again. “The joy, the delight one experiences is directly linked to the psychological space of your inner dwelling. If it is small and narrow, full of dust and smoke then one is perpetually restless and unhappy, stifled by the smoke. Naturally, gods do not like to dwell in such an atmosphere. They depart one by one leaving the house at ransom for dark and evil forces that are always waiting.”

“And what about the soul?” asked one.

“The soul silently witnesses and endures waiting for nature to be ready as it must one day, or else remains asleep, unable to express its beauty and goodness and light and truth in that stifling atmosphere. Till it too chooses to depart.” The Master paused: “This is the inner tragedy to be the world’s king but abandoned by one’s soul. But men run after worldly success and if they fail they think it is a tragedy though often worldly misfortune is a great blessing.”

“A blessing, but how?” asked someone.

“For through it, men can once again turn to their soul for support. When tragedy strikes and the charm of outer things is lost, then we have a chance to awaken to the inner realities.”
“But we always thought that success and a rich, comfortable life, free of failure is a gift from God, a reward of good deeds,” asked one steeped in traditions.

“That is why I said that this world is an inverse image of Truth and all its values are turned upside down.” The Master observed again and plunged into a deep Silence that brooded always in his atmosphere. And as he thus plunged, a hope arose in the hearts of those gathered around him. One voiced it, inversely again “How can this inversion be set right, Master, or is it always meant to be so?”

The Master lifted his compassionate gaze and looking as if far-off to some future dawn awaiting its hour guarded by the folds of darkness softly replied, “We shall leave this for some other time…”

The white and the black ant met one day on their way to their respective hiding grounds.

Looking disdainfully at the black ant, the white one remarked, “How underdeveloped is your ant civilization. Though we are of the same stock of ants, see how we have developed.” Saying so, the white ant started bragging about its termite city that had huge high-rise mounds that looked impressive and completely shielded from the sun. They were weatherproof and the entire colony was so well organized that it was near impossible to wipe them out. The black ant had nothing to compare with, as it lived in small hideouts adapting and adjusting to the ways of nature. All that it could communicate was that outer success alone does not matter. The white ant differed saying that nature favours the aggressive and the successful. They alone survive since they are strong and capable, the fittest of the ants. The black ant was not ready to give in so easily. Taught by the ways of Nature on which they depended rather than their outer prowess alone, the black ant said:

“Look at the tiger. Strong and powerful, it has all that is needed to survive. And then look at the deer, swift footed with beautiful eyes yet an easy game for the tiger. See how Nature has worked in ways that the tiger is a threatened species whereas the deer continues to multiply.”
The white ant seemed unconvinced. As a gesture of superiority, it even invited the black ant to stay in its termite city for a few days and enjoy the coolness and comfort.

The wise black ant refused but, in the passing, remarked, “Great and successful you may be but what is the use of such a success that human homes dread your arrival whereas I am welcomed by them as a sign of good fortune. Your city is built by devouring the very wood that shelters you, whereas we enrich the soil that gives us space.”

So saying it quietly lugged along its way. The white ant wondered for a moment at the words of wisdom in their parting but soon walked its way with an air of vanity at the achievements of their kind. As it walked Nature, the great mother of all creatures, smiled and gently whispered to the soul of earth, “I have shared something of my intelligence and power with all my creatures but this I have made the rule of the game. They who live only for themselves shall perish whereas they who live with the sense of the whole shall survive and grow.”

And as she, thus, whispered these words of wisdom, the King of Lanka heard it not and continued to build his termite city with stolen wealth and the blood of earth’s creatures. But on the other end of Bharatvarsha, the gentlest, yet mightiest of all, Rama of the Ikshvaku clan smiled as if nodding to Mother Nature in assent, reassuring her that the Lord of Nature has come to uphold the law and the rule of the game. The days of the devouring Rakshasa and the Asura were numbered. But the animal kind, from the monkey to the bear would have the glory of aiding the ascent of man.

Alok Pandey

Once again, the disciples had gathered under the cool shade of the banyan tree. The Master arrived as usual at the appointed time. It was not in his nature to make others wait for him, even if they were his disciples. The story session began with a discussion over the story of Amrita–Manthan which the disciples had heard before.

Disciple: “Master, you narrated the story of Amrita-Manthan the other day and it appeared perfectly natural that the Lord distributed the nectar to the gods while denying it to the titans. But hadn’t they too laboured for it and therefore deserved it equally? Then why was the Lord partial to the gods?”

The Master seemed to be waiting for this question. He responded at once, “But the Lord was not being partial at all though it may seem so to the human eye. He was simply doing what ought to be done as the right thing.” Then after a pause, he added, “well, he was rendering Divine Justice, if you like?”

“Divine Justice,” a few disciples exclaimed as if puzzled for they had never thought that there could be several kinds of Justice.

The Master resumed, “Yes, each earthly value, whether Love, Charity, Kindness, Unity, Justice has its divine and a human counterpart. The Divine renders Justice as per the Divine vision which is a complete vision and a total knowledge. He sees not only the outer effort but also the inner motives, the hidden forces at play, the long-term results and above all the good of the earth. Even when he destroys, he destroys out of love. Man sees only the surface of things and has at most only a brief life’s vision, therefore, is he perplexed and confused at the ways of God. True, the titans laboured as fiercely and perhaps even more than the gods, but their motives were unclean. Had the nectar been given to them, that would have spelt disaster for earth and humanity on whom these beings of other dimensions cast their influence. Have you not heard what Sri Krishna has said in the Gita about the right course of action, dharma? This right, from the Divine point of view, is what helps in the evolutionary march of mankind towards the ultimate Truth and Light. Have you not heard of the Lord’s incarnations as the dwarf child, Vamana avatara?”

One of the disciples inquired, “Tell us, Master, the story of Vamana. I have heard about it as a child but couldn’t quite grasp the sense behind it.”

The disciples were all attention, expectantly waiting for another story. The Master got into the frame of telling another story, of another incarnation. As he spoke, a joy flowed from his body as if he experienced what he recounted:

“The titan king Bali had not forgotten his defeat. He performed various forms of austerities to gain rare weapons. Then, armoured with these and gathering around himself a huge army, he marched towards Amravati, the city of deathless gods where Indra resides. Seeing the huge army and the rare weapons, Indra in consultation with the guru of gods, Brihaspati, decided to abandon the city and go into a hideout with the rest of the gods. Better be free even with nothing than be a slave to the titans which seemed imminent. Brihaspati, who knows the ways of the Vast, explained to Indra, the king of gods, thus: ‘After God’s will, one must respect Time for it is through the agency of Time that the great Lord works and acts. He who acts completely ignoring the conditions set forth by Time in this huge cosmic play brings only doom to oneself. For in all things, Time works. There is a Time for victory, there is a Time also for defeat. And he who knows how to accept both, success and failure with grace and dignity, eventually masters Time itself.’”

“Brihaspati spoke, but Indra was still not fully convinced. The gods are not powerless, he thought. Why should not we fight? But Brihaspati, the wise said, ‘Look Indra, the time is not good right now for your victory. The Lord, in his mysterious way, has brought you face to face with inevitable defeat. Perhaps he wants you and the gods to learn the lesson of humility. However powerful you may be, Time over-rides and overtops all things. So concede right now to avoid destruction of this beautiful city and its many inhabitants.’”

“Indra listened, for the gods always obeyed their guru. Along with the other gods, he took refuge in devmata Aditi’s home. Aditi, the Mother of the gods, received them with Love and Compassion that is always there in her heart for all her children. The gods forgot all their pain and humiliations in Her presence as the ever kind mother carried the sorrow and anguish of the gods to the great Lord, Narayana, ‘Wherefore this ignominy, defeat and humiliation for my radiant children. Lord, you must intervene on their behalf for their kingdom has been snatched unjustly by the titans.’”

“The gracious Lord smiled and reassured Aditi, the mother of the gods: ‘What thou hast willed for them, I cannot refuse. It is granted. The kingdom of the gods will be returned to them in due course of time, for as thou knowest, my will executed by the trustee, Time. The heavens have been snatched from the gods without a fight, for the gods had to learn a lesson. It is Time and not the titan king who snatched it away. And it is Time who shall give it back to them without a fight.’”

“Thus, assured the mother of the gods who mediates between the anguish of the gods and the ecstasies of the highest Being, returned and resumed her work of nurturing and strengthening the gods, pouring her Grace and Love upon them, healing all their anguish and sorrow.”

“Time rolled by. Meanwhile, a little child with an unusual radiance was born to Aditi. He emerged out of her womb, a radiant god himself whose splendour was greater even than that of Indra, the king of gods. The earth, the moon, the sun, the fire, the mother goddess Parvati herself, Brahma and Shiva all gave something of their aspect of energies to him. His form resembled Narayana himself and Aditi knew that the Time had come for the gods to get back their due. The little boy, well versed in the Veda, remained dwarf-bodied, Vamana, but in his consciousness, he was vaster than the skies and deeper than the oceans.”

“Meanwhile, king Bali who was now commanding the three worlds, the physical material world, the subtle world built of prana and the still subtler world of mind, decided to perform a rare yajna that would make him invincible. The yajna was being presided over by the guru of the titans, Shukracharya. As a master of all the elemental forces and material energies, Shukracharya wanted the titans to become invincible. As he thus proceeded on the yajna, suddenly a dazzling radiance was seen approaching near the sacrificial fire.

“The titans were perplexed for they were not accustomed to so much light. Some even fainted unable to bear the effulgence which, as it neared, was seen to be emanating from Vamana who was approaching the Yajnasala dressed in the barest of bare clothes, he held a Kamandalu in his hands and an umbrella made of reeds over his head. His eyes were full of an unearthly joy and the countenance full of peace and radiance. A beautiful fragrance of jasmine emanated from his body that had a lotus pink hue around it. As he approached the Yajnasala, the titan king was filled with a strange joy. Indeed he thought the little boy to be the fire god himself. Offering his obeisance to the young bright Brahmin boy, the titan king asked him: ‘Who art thou, O young one? You seem to be a celestial being or perhaps the Lord himself in a miniature form. Tell me what can be offered to you as a due share of the yajna?’”

At this, the Master paused and elaborated a little about the yajna: “Yajna is not merely an external rite as some see it. In principle, it is a recognition of the fact that we are neither alone nor the only ones in the universe. Through yajna, the sacrificant offered what he had and what he could, to others, to men of wisdom and valour, to men in need, to the subjects in one’s kingdom, to the gods and denizens of other worlds. The fire is the inner fire, the eternal witness, the Divine will in man. Through that as one’s witness, one makes the offering. But this is not a one-way process, for, in return, the elements, the earth, the sun, the moon, the sea, the gods also gave to the giver something of their forces and their energies. Thus, each could grow into the All and the Whole”

The disciples were amazed at the depth and profundity of this ancient wisdom that they not only saw oneness behind all things but also provided a way to realize it through yajna, as one of the powerful means.

The Master resumed: “To come back to our story, the radiant Vamana thus spoke to the titan king, ‘O great king, you are truly generous and large-hearted, much like your father and grandfather. All that I need, however, is just three steps worth of land.’”

“Now, Vamana knew that the titans are readily carried away by praise. They are generous but their generosity is driven by the ego and displayed for the sake of self-flattery. Bali too felt flattered but was also somewhat surprised at the small measure of the gift. He asked the little dwarf to reconsider and ask for more. But Vamana, the dwarf stood his ground.”

“Meanwhile, as the two were conversing, Shukracharya had perceived that this was no ordinary being and his measure need not be our measure. He advised the titan king not to grant what Vamana had asked for as there may be some trick behind it. But the titan king would not listen. He was full of vanity and boastfulness. What trick can this little dwarf do with me, Bali, who rules the three worlds and of whom even the gods are afraid of? If I listen to my guru, I may bring shame to my family pride who were known to be generous kings. What will people speak of me, that the mighty king Bali did not keep his promise for mere three steps of land?” He thought, ‘My guru has lost his senses to thus advise me. I know better,’ and thus, with the fire as a witness and the water as the sanctifier, he promised Vamana to take three steps worth of space anywhere in the three worlds.”

“And Vamana smiled.

“He took one step and his being seemed to tower to unimaginable heights. With his first step, he measured the entire earth. His second step covered the heavens and all else in-between. The titan king was all amazed. Realizing that Vamana was none else but Narayana himself, he stood with folded hands, speechless and in wonder.”

“‘Where do I place my third step, O! great and generous king.’ He heard Vamana’s sweet and soft voice that was like celestial music to his ears.”

“Still held almost in trance, the king bowed his head and gestured that the third step may be placed thereupon his head. This gesture meant that his ego may be completely demolished and his whole being reclaimed by the Lord himself.”

“Vamana, the Lord who had assumed the stature of a dwarf smiled as he granted to Bali the highest boon possible, by taking away the burden of ego, pride and vanity that man carries on his head.”

“O! Great and noble king, the earth and the heavens were already mine. I have only reclaimed them from you who thought that they were yours. I give them now to the gods to govern and to you, I give the highest of the nether worlds, Sutala where you will reign a while as my trustee. In return for your noble gesture, I promise that I will always be by your side, even in the nether worlds, for there is nothing small or dark where I cannot reside and even in the darkest, mysterious and the fallen worlds, I am there, hidden and masked. Now that you have chosen to surrender your ego to Me, I shall quickly purify your nature and after this cycle of creation withdraws, it is you whom I shall appoint as the guardian of heaven, the king of gods, Indra, for the next cycle.”

“And Bali bowed his head in utter gratitude as the Lord placed his feet over his head and sent him to the nether worlds.”

The Master paused for a while as in deep contemplation. Then addressing his disciples, he asked, “What would you call this — Divine Justice or Divine Compassion, Retribution or Reward, taking or giving, disgrace or the greatest Grace?”

The disciples were unable to answer.

The Master resumed, “For such is the wisdom that has built the world. Justice and injustice, these are human terms, needed for us, but the Lord sees and act differently and does what is needed for our growth.”

The evening was spreading fast. The Master summarized, revealing the symbol of the story, “Vamana, the radiant portion, amsa of the Lord is man’s soul, his psychic being, dwarf in appearance but formidable in power and knowledge. So long as the ego is battling out between the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’, the ‘bright’ and the ‘dark’ side of life, Vamana remains hidden from our sight. But a time comes when we are ready through suffering and humility, when the world — mother Aditi, intercedes on our behalf and Vamana, the soul in man emerges out of Her and begins to spread its radiance and influence upon our life. He reclaims our nature for the Lord to whom everything belongs. And when we have offered our ego to him, He purifies us quickly and abides with us always wherever we are. Then sin and evil fall away from us and, whether in hell or in heaven, we become radiant
instruments of God.”

The Master fell silent but, the disciples felt a strange joy and peace invade their hearts and an urge to give themselves utterly and entirely to the Lord. Quietly, they stood up, one after another and walked for the last errands. It was night outside but inside all was light, happiness and peace.

Alok Pandey

The white and the black ant met one day on their way to their respective hiding grounds.

Looking disdainfully at the black ant, the white one remarked, “How underdeveloped is your ant civilization. Though we are of the same stock of ants, see how we have developed.” Saying so, the white ant started bragging about its termite city that had huge high-rise mounds that looked impressive and completely shielded from the sun. They were weatherproof and the entire colony was so well organized that it was near impossible to wipe them out. The black ant had nothing to compare with, as it lived in small hideouts adapting and adjusting to the ways of nature. All that it could communicate was that outer success alone does not matter. The white ant differed saying that nature favours the aggressive and the successful. They alone survive since they are strong and capable, the fittest of the ants. The black ant was not ready to give in so easily. Taught by the ways of Nature on which they depended rather than their outer prowess alone, the black ant said:

“Look at the tiger. Strong and powerful, it has all that is needed to survive. And then look at the deer, swift footed with beautiful eyes yet an easy game for the tiger. See how Nature has worked in ways that the tiger is a threatened species whereas the deer continues to multiply.”

The white ant seemed unconvinced. As a gesture of superiority, it even invited the black ant to stay in its termite city for a few days and enjoy the coolness and comfort.

The wise black ant refused but, in the passing, remarked, “Great and successful you may be but what is the use of such a success that human homes dread your arrival whereas I am welcomed by them as a sign of good fortune. Your city is built by devouring the very wood that shelters you, whereas we enrich the soil that gives us space.”

So saying it quietly lugged along its way. The white ant wondered for a moment at the words of wisdom in their parting but soon walked its way with an air of vanity at the achievements of their kind. As it walked Nature, the great mother of all creatures, smiled and gently whispered to the soul of earth, “I have shared something of my intelligence and power with all my creatures but this I have made the rule of the game. They who live only for themselves shall perish whereas they who live with the sense of the whole shall survive and grow.”

And as she, thus, whispered these words of wisdom, the King of Lanka heard it not and continued to build his termite city with stolen wealth and the blood of earth’s creatures. But on the other end of Bharatvarsha, the gentlest, yet mightiest of all, Rama of the Ikshvaku clan smiled as if nodding to Mother Nature in assent, reassuring her that the Lord of Nature has come to uphold the law and the rule of the game. The days of the devouring Rakshasa and the Asura were numbered. But the animal kind, from the monkey to the bear would have the glory of aiding the ascent of man.

Alok Pandey

The seven seers, who guide the world from their celestial homes, had gathered at Sri Krishna’s home in the eternal Vrindavan. The seven seers had come to voice their concerns over the growing menace of Ravana, the king of Lanka. He was destroying the doors of yajna and his lust and ambition were upsetting not only the balance of earth but also of celestial beings whose wealth and powers he had forcibly captured through arduous tapasya.

“When will the reign of the overambitious Asura end?” was the question that everybody had in their hearts. The guides of the world could not see any near solution to the problem. They cast their gaze through loops of time, only to be baffled. So they thought of meeting Krishna, the Divine who dwells in every heart.

Krishna greeted them with his heart-charming smile. He knew their hearts and responded with an answer as enigmatic as his smile.

“But who would replace the Asura, tell me O sages bright? It has taken an aeon to replace the Rakshasa in man with the Asura. Let him then perfect the Asura in man before he falls.” Sri Krishna remarked.

“What then is his source of strength? Is it his bhakti for his chosen deity Shiva?” the sages asked.

“Shiva’s strength indeed he holds. But since he misuses the gift divine, he writes his own doom through his acts,” Sri Krishna answered.

“What is the mantra he invokes? Pray tell us his secret,” requested the seers.

And Krishna once again, “He knows that he is God, sohamasmi. So, he marches with confidence filled with the power of this mantra.”

“Then how shall he fall?” the sages asked.

“Fall he will for he knows only half the truth. He knows not that all, all indeed is God.” Krishna smiled.

And as the Lord smiled, the sages looked down upon earth and saw Ravana performing a Rakshasic yagya torturing his body and asking the boon for aggrandizing his ego that he mistook for the true Self.
As he offered his head in the flames Shiva appeared as Kali and bid him stay.

“Grant me immortality,” the Asura thundered.

Kali, the fierce and fearsome goddess of the Titans and the Gods, laughed and her laughter filled the world with terror and joy.

“Immortality is not for you since you mistake the body for the soul. Ask another boon,” Kali retorted.

Then God in the Asura spoke seeking for the boon from the Mother of the worlds.

“Grant me then this boon that may I fall only to the animal man or a man who has fully subdued the Asura in him.”

“So be it!” Kali thundered and vanished.

And as Ravana rose from his sacrifice, the sages knew the Lord’s evolutionary plan. The animal man and the higher human type must replace the Asura even as he had replaced the dreaded Rakshasa.
Sri Krishna smiled and in the heart of Ayodhya, Prince Rama, the eldest son of Dasaratha, woke up in the royal palace. Sage Viswamitra had arrived to take him and his brother Lakshmana to train them for their mission.

Hope then stole in the heart of earth. The vanara of Kishkindhaa rejoiced not knowing the cause of the happiness they felt.

Alok Pandey