December 1933
I don’t belittle intelligence at all. It is the claims of the intellect to judge what is beyond itself that I belittle. Intelligence properly used is an excellent thing; everything is excellent in its own place.
* * *
December 19, 1933
(from Mother)
I am sorry you spoke to Venkataraman instead of speaking to Chandulal as I had suggested. Chandulal said and repeated that there is no true objection at all to your going back to the Trésor from this very day if you like. It seems that there had been already a discussion of the subject between Chandulal and Venkataraman before you came to me; C. saying that you could very well move in and V. making all sorts of objections.
This quarrel is most regrettable; I have never given authority to V. to decide when you can or cannot go back to your rooms, and when I have said that you can go I do not see how anybody can say a word to the contrary.
I agree with you that too much money has been spent on that house, and it is Chandulal’s opinion also. He was telling me that very thing no later than yesterday; but you will allow me not to follow your reasoning about princes. A house is made nice not for the sake of its occupants but for its own sake, and those who are to live in it have no reason to feel shy or uncomfortable about it.
So I hope you will brush aside this unpleasant happening and take all measure to move tomorrow to the Trésor as you told me you would do.
* * *
December 25, 1933
This afternoon after my mid-day meal I meditated in the smaller new room (qui est une chambre très sympathique, il n’y a pas un mot pour sympathique en anglaise[1]) after about an hour or so suddenly the current started at the head after a long time and the waves through the body as before. Only my body was less numb than before. There was also the difference that while doing japa of Mother’s name I feel the current giving me much more pronounced peace and a feeling of being soothed (formerly the peace was not so pronounced) and I felt really happy thanks to Mother’s grace.
It is very good. The increase of peace whether in intensity or solidity is always the first tangible result of the descent. It is very necessary because it is in the consciousness at peace that either the Power can work at ease or the Presence manifest itself.
* * *
December 26, 1933
I did not write to you because writing especially on these things, your poetry and your music, seemed to me superfluous — your success in these things has become a chose acquise [acquired thing]. I told Sahana because she asked the question and in doing so I indicated that the whole concert had been a success — and I praised the Radha song specially because it was the best, not only because of her singing but the song and music were so admirably beautiful — a compliment which was meant as well for you as for her. In fact the whole thing was very successful and admirably organised from beginning to end, each item a success in its place. So I don’t see why you should feel like that. Perhaps I should have written, but there is always at night the overwhelming press of work to be done and in the evening I was trying to finish the translation of your poem[2] which I am trying to make as perfect as possible. Of course I would have written if I had thought you could have any doubts about our appreciation of your music. As for Harin, I don’t know whether his abstention was due at all to his not having been encouraged by the Mother to sing himself before a large audience, but he put it on the ground of sadhana and it was on the ground of sadhana that Mother said he need not come. To ask to be left out of the music[3] is to ask for the music to be left out, for these things would be impossible without you, — you know very well that no one else would be able to do it rightly and that the development in this part of our life here rests on you and you alone.
For the rest, the difficulty of getting the perfect equanimity is a fact, but not for you alone — it has been so for all of us — it is too universal for you to make it a legitimate ground of discouragement. Nothing is more necessary, but nothing is more difficult. So there is no reason why you should discount my encouragement. My encouragement is given in spite of difficulties and not because I think there are none.
Never mind these momentary mishaps — shake off the mood and once more en avant.
* * *
December 26, 1933
What can be stranger than this idea of yours that Mother likes only European music and does not like or appreciate Indian music — that she only pretends to do it or that she tolerates it so as not discourage people! Remember that it is the Mother who has always praised and supported your music and put her force behind you so that your music might develop into spiritual perfection and beauty. In your poetry it was I that supported you most, in detail, the Mother could only do it with a general force, because she could not read the original (though she found them in translation very beautiful) but in the music it has been just the other way round. You surely are not going to say that all that was unfelt? And the development of Sahana? That too was Indian music, not European. And then when I write to you in praise of your music, do you think it is only my opinion that I am transmitting? Most often it is her words that I use to express our common feeling.
* * *
December 27, 1933
I read your dream with great interest. It seems to me that it was, as the Mother told you, one part of your physical mind (your grandfather’s part, so to speak) conversing with another part of the physical mind, your original own — the turn of the conversation being conditioned by the sorrowful mood in which you were. Dreams of this kind are sometimes, if properly used, luminous guides to a certain kind of self-knowledge.
I am sorry to hear that your cold has developed an unnecessary adjuvant of fever. I hope the health habit in your vital will shake it off without delay.
* * *
End of Volume I
[1] “Which is a very pleasant room, there is no word for sympathique in English.”
[2] “Transformation of Consciousness.”
[3] (Dilip’s handwritten note on his transcription of Sri Aurobindo’s letter:) “I had written since I am so easily upset about the music etc. and stand in need of appreciation I had better be left out in future musical soirées”
