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At the Feet of The Mother

Correspondence 1934, April (I)

April 1934

But after all, without putting forth eighteen visible arms, (perhaps, since it is a symbol, by putting them forth internally) I hope to become one day so divine even in the body consciousness that I shall be able to satisfy everybody! But you can’t hurry a transformation like that. I must ask for time.

Why do you always insist on cherishing the idea that I refuse all human love? I have surely written to you to the contrary. I don’t reject it, neither human nor vital love. But I want that behind the vital there shall be the constant support of the psychic human love (not all at once the divine), because that alone can prevent the movements which make you restless, obscured and miserable. In asking this I am surely not asking anything excessive or beyond your power.

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April 1934

It is only divine love which can bear the burden I have to bear, that all have to bear who have sacrificed everything else to the one aim of uplifting earth out of its darkness towards the Divine. The Galileo-like je m’en fiche”-ism [I do not care] would not carry me one step; it would certainly not be Divine. It is quite another thing that enables me to walk unweeping and unlamenting towards the goal.

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April 9, 1934

I spoke of a strong central and, if possible, complete faith because your attitude seemed to be that you only cared for the full response — that is, realisation, the Presence, regarding all else as quite unsatisfactory, and your prayer was not bringing you that. But prayer in itself does not usually bring that at once — only if there is a burning faith at the centre or a complete faith in all the parts of the being. That does not mean that those whose faith is not so strong or surrender complete cannot arrive, but usually they have at first to go by small steps and to face the difficulties of their nature until by perseverance or tapasya they make a sufficient opening. Even a faltering faith and a slow and partial surrender have their force and their result, otherwise only the rare few could do sadhana at all. What I mean by the central faith is a faith in the soul or the central being behind, which is there even when the mind doubts and the vital despairs and the physical wants to collapse, and after the attack is over reappears and pushes on the path again. It may be strong and bright, it may be pale and in appearance weak, but if it persists each time in going on, it is the real thing. Fits of despair and darkness are a tradition in the path of sadhana — in all Yogas oriental or occidental they seem to have been the rule. I know all about them myself — but my experience has led me to the perception that they are an unnecessary tradition and could be dispensed with if one chose. That is why whenever they come in you or others I try to lift up before them the gospel of faith. If still they come, one has to get through them as soon as possible and get back into the sun. Your dream of the sea was a perfectly true one — in the end the storm and swell do not prevent the arrival of the state of Grace in the sadhak and with it the arrival of the Grace itself. That, I suppose is what something in you is always asking for — the supramental miracle of Grace, something that is impatient of the demand for tapasya and self-perfection and long labour. Well, it can come, it has come to several here after years upon years of blank failure and difficulty or terrible internal struggles. But it comes usually in that way — as opposed to a slowly developing Grace — after much difficulty and not at once. If you go on asking for it in spite of the apparent failure of response, it is sure to come.

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April 10, 1934

Why should earthquakes occur by some wrong movement of man? When man was not there, did not earthquakes occur? If he were blotted out by poison gas or otherwise, would they cease? Earthquakes are a perturbation in Nature due to some pressure of forces; frequency of earthquakes may coincide with a violence of upheavals in human life but the upheavals of earth and human life are both results of a general clash or pressure of forces, one is not the cause of the other.

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April 11, 1934

I am very glad to know that the energy has come in a full flow and I look forward to its results. I have observed that under your tuition[1] Jyotirmayi has arrived at much ease and mastery of language and metre — Nirod also is writing well. They are getting the vehicle, the person to ride in it must arrive. Nirod has still too much of the traditional Bengali poet (modern) in his measure—he must get out of that. We want a new style and spirit — that is what I have hinted to him. I suppose it will come. I believe Sahana has the stuff in her, after she has got over the difficulty of the transit.

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[1] Dilip was teaching poetics to a group among whom were Nirod, his niece Jyotirmayi, Sahana and others. In a letter (21 March 1934) to Nirod, Sri Aurobindo touched on the subject. “Your poems are well enough — but for both J and yourself, what has to be seen is whether it comes to something original and substantial. At present what both are doing is only prentice-work.”

Death creates an illusion, not only of the vanity of life, but regards life itself as an error, a mistake, even a sin to be born upon earth.