Q: Can someone who does not love God and hates him to some extent (because, obviously I can’t love someone who tortures my family and the world every moment and is egoistic & eccentric enough to do anything just to have HIS play irrespective of how much we suffer) find God?
A: Coming to your question of hating God, well one is free to do so. Hate is one form of relation we form with the world or with its Creator. Our faith, in this case that God is to be hated because He tortures, becomes the path for relating with Him. This too is a kind of faith (that God is a cruel torturer) and hence it opens the door to this kind of relationship. In other words our life and its events only tend to justify our faith in God as the cruel torturer since that is the term and condition. Everything then comes with this taint since that is needed for our progress. Through hate we remember Him and hence events and circumstances happen that keep justifying our hatred. It is the path that Asuric beings follow. The end of course is inevitable as everything eventually draws us to Him through the different routes that humanity follows. The route of hate and opposition to God is also a path but its journey is fraught with suffering and pain.
A better path is that instead of assuming that He likes to torture because one’s family members are in pain, one tries to understand its reasons. If we sincerely try to aspire for the knowledge of what God is doing with us then we do begin to understand His play. Unfortunately, very often we end up projecting our egoism and hatred / cruelty upon God and paint Him with our own consciousness. Knowing this subtle truth, the saints advise us to love God because when we love someone, we grow fast into the likeness of the one whom we love. As we grow into His likeness, we begin to truly understand how His Love works in creation even when the appearances are dark. Then the same situation appears differently and behind the torture and the pain we see the long arm of Love leaning over us holding and supporting us through it all.
It is only when we love and grow into the likeness of God that we can understand the mysterious play and the countless forces operating from behind as well as our own role in it. After all God cannot be held responsible for anything and everything that happens in our life. We are quick to take credits and even more quick to blame God. So if we are to blame Him for all the suffering in our life then we might as well as give Him credit for all the joy and good also and see in the sum balance whether the scale tilts towards the cruel torturer or the benevolent guide.
