Q: I have heard many times that we can make Maa our friend. For one day I tried that and the following question popped in my mind – how to avoid feeding the ego or expecting that I will be free from difficulties or any such worldly selfish attitude? Then what should be my attitude?
ALOK DA: Friendship with the Divine is indeed the rarest gift that can be granted to us. When we aspire steadily for such a friendship then surely one day it is given to us and then life begins to change beautifully. You are already blessed to have this feeling within you. It is a sign that She is already your friend. all that is needed is for you to build the bond from your side, since friendship, unlike love, is always a two-way process.
You have asked what does it mean to make Maa as your friend. Well at the very outset a friend is someone with whom we share everything without fear of being judged or condemned. We know that a friend will always understand us and be there to help us whenever we need it. It is the same thing with the divine Mother. To ask for Her friendship means that we start sharing everything with Her from what we think to be the most trivial to what we imagine as something that is of great importance. I have said seeming because the divine values and looks things very differently. Yet He acts taking into account our values. So instead of sharing things, what gives us happiness and what gives us pain with Maa we begin to notice that a divine Hand begins to silently arrange our circumstances of life in a way that only a friend who knows what is best for us can do. A friend does not only give us advice also does what needs to be done for us if it is within his limits and capacities to do it. The divine Friend may give us advice if we want it. But even more importantly He starts doing things for us to ensure that our life ahead is made smooth as far as possible in the present conditions and through the circumstances that we choose to be in.
The first thing, however, is to make Her a confidante of your life and open and lay before Her all your thoughts and feelings and will and actions without any hesitation. What we instead do is to either keep everything inside us or else turn towards human beings to share them. Nothing wrong with that but the problem is that human beings even at their best are limited. they are limited in knowledge, limited in power, limited in love. It is best, therefore, to turn towards the Divine who is the Source of everything. then what one receives from Him can be shared with others or with someone we may feel love for. What I mean by saying this is that friendship with the Divine does not exclude other relationships in our life. It is just that we do not depend upon them but on Her for everything. On the other hand, when we have friendship with the Divine we receive so much more all the time that it improves our relationship with the world around.
The second thing is that we should develop a bond whereby She is the first (and preferably the last) person we call whenever in difficulty just as we call a friend in need or in distress. She becomes our ICE (In Case of Emergency) number and once we have called Her we know that she will do what needs to be done through whatever human or other instrumentation. But when the thing is done do not forget to express gratitude. People often thank the human being because they are not yet able to perceive that it is She who impels everything. Therefore all must be offered back to Her with gratitude and love. Not that the Divine needs it but a bond of friendship has to be built from both sides. It is not a one-way process of only taking from your friend. What does the Divine want from us? People often think that by giving Him a little bit of money, often extra from what they need, they are forging a bond. Well, money is needed for His Work but for Himself He needs our love and trust. This is developed by thinking of Her as often as you can. This constant Remembrance of the Divine, this feeling of an insatiable need of Her, this thirst for Her Love, this utter self-giving and abandon of what we have and are and do to in a gesture of service to Her is what seals the bond between the Divine and man. After all, we would also want to do something for our friend, isn’t it? What can we do for the Divine who Himself is the doer? Well, we can choose to offer ourselves in His hands to become Her faithful instruments and channels. This is how the two=way relationship develops.
Finally, we should take out some special time to sit with Her, to speak with Her, to be with Her just as we wish to be with our a friend. This begins as we get less and less enamoured of humanity and begin to seek Her. Share everything with Her, when you take a walk, let Her walk with you. when you go for work let Her be with you, when you eat and sleep, ask Her to eat and sleep with you. Let Her be with you with each breath and heartbeat of your life.
Let me close with two passages of the Mother which beautifully describe this bond of relationship with the Divine as Friend:
‘I have cried too with the joy of a child, “O supreme and only Confidant, Thou who knowest beforehand all we can say to Thee because Thou art its source! “O supreme and only Friend, Thou who acceptest, Thou who lovest, Thou who understandest us just as we are, because it is Thyself who hast so made us! “O supreme and only Guide, Thou who never gainsayest our highest will because it is Thou Thyself who willest in it! “It would be folly to seek elsewhere than in Thee for one who will listen, understand, love and guide, since always Thou art there ready to our call and never wilt Thou fail us! “Thou hast made me know the supreme, the sublime joy of a perfect confidence, an absolute serenity, a surrender total and without reserve or colouring, free from effort or constraint. Joyous like a child I have smiled and wept at once before Thee, O my Well-Beloved!”
[Prayers and Meditations, CWM 1: 374-375]
‘We don’t like the company of someone who has a contagious disease, and avoid him carefully; generally he is segregated so that it does not spread. But the contagion of vice and bad behaviour, the contagion of depravity, falsehood and what is base, is infinitely more dangerous than the contagion of any disease, and this is what must be very carefully avoided. You must consider as your best friend the one who tells you that he does not wish to participate in any bad or ugly act, the one who gives you courage to resist low temptations; he is a friend. He is the one you must associate with and not someone with whom you have fun and who strengthens your evil propensities. Indeed, you should choose as friends only those who are wiser than yourself, those whose company ennobles you and helps you to master yourself, to progress, to act in a better way and see more clearly. And finally, the best friend one can have —isn’t he the Divine, to whom one can say everything, reveal everything? For there indeed is the source of all compassion, of all power to efface every error when it is not repeated, to open the road to true realisation; it is he who can understand all, heal all, and always help on the path, help you not to fail, not to falter, not to fall, but to walk straight to the goal. He is the true friend, the friend of good and bad days, the one who can understand, can heal, and who is always there when you need him. When you call him sincerely, he is always there to guide and uphold you—and to love you in the true way.’
[Conversation of 13 March 1957, CWM 9: 58-59]
