March 24, 1914
The result of all my reflections of yesterday is the finding that the only disturbance I experience comes from my fear of not having been or of not being perfectly identified with Thy law. And this disturbance comes precisely from the fact that the identification is not complete; for if it were, I could not ask myself whether it is so and, on the other hand, as I know from experience, all disturbance would become impossible for me.
But in face of an error or blunder, the true thought to have is not to say to oneself, “I should have done better, I should have done this instead of that”, but rather “I was not sufficiently identified with the eternal Consciousness, I must strive to realise better this definitive and integral union.”
Yesterday afternoon, during those long hours of silent contemplation, I understood at last what is meant by true identification with the object of one’s thought. I touched this realisation, as it were, not by achieving a mental state, but simply through steadiness and control of thought. I understood that I would need long, very long hours of contemplation to be able to perfect this realisation. This is one of the things I expect from the journey to India, if indeed Thou dost consider it useful for Thy service, Lord.
My progress is slow, very slow, but I hope that in compensation it may be lasting and free from all fluctuation.
Grant that I may accomplish my mission, that I may help in Thy integral manifestation.
[Prayers and Meditations of the Mother]
