Now it is as if the Mother were carrying me into herself, leaving behind only a projection of her Force which works in my external nature.
That was what was needed — on one side the dwelling in the Mother, on the other the consciousness of her Force working in the physical being.
My actions are beginning to be felt (not merely thought to be) as being performed by her Force while I remain merged in her consciousness.
It is very good. That was what was needed.
I feel myself far from the ignorance and falsehood and close to the Mother. Not that the ordinary nature and its movements are gone for ever, but due to my separateness their reactions do not touch me.
It is the true Yogic consciousness in which one feels that oneness and lives in it, not touched by the outer being and its inferior movements, but looking on them with a smile at their ignorance and smallness. It will become much more possible to deal with these outer things if that separateness is maintained always.
Even the inertia now seems like something detached from me.
That is good. Inertia or anything else must be felt as separate, not part of one’s real self which is one with the Divine.
In the midst of physical or even mental occupation I cannot forget the Mother.
That is very good.
It was a surprise to watch that my sadhana was going on even during the work although I made no conscious attempt to separate myself from the work.
It is a stage of detachment and separation which is necessary in Yoga. It is only so that freedom in the work can come.
In the midst of work I feel myself at full rest. Even the body consciousness does not feel that it is working.
That is right. It is so that it must be felt.
I am afraid I wrote yesterday rather too much about my feeling separate from the outer Prakriti during work.
No, it was all right — a very clear and precise statement.
Since the sadhana has taken a turn for the positive side, I do not like to look much at the negative or write on the happenings there, provided you agree to it.
Yes, certainly — that is the best.
The inner and spiritual experiences, realisations etc. come truly from the Mother. But that truth we accept only on faith, as their source is not detectable by us in the beginning. But now I can clearly see and feel them coming from her, even as one sees the Ganges flowing down from the Himalayas.
It is very good indeed. It was what was lacking in the former realisation of self and of peace, now with this realisation you have the foundation of the dynamic as well as the static side of the Truth.
I experience as if my mental and vital consciousness were merged in the Mother, while the (subtle) physical has begun to feel itself on the lap of the Mother.
Yes.
When X went to the Mother for Pranam and she put her hand on his head I too felt the touch of her hand on my own head. How did this happen?
It shows that the subtle physical is growing conscious and felt the touch and blessing of the Mother which is always there.
Returning from the Pranam ceremony when the Mother was throwing a last glance at us from the staircase, some tears and a profound feeling surged out from my heart.
It is the natural psychic movement of love and bhakti deep down in the being.
