Longings for The Mother (7): Mother, You were Mother, but we were not Children

From a series of 15 contemplations, written by Indra Sen shortly after The Mother’s physical withdrawal

Mother, You were really a Mother, always solicitous about our welfare, so kind, so gracious, so full of love, always forgiving, You were truly a Mother.

In You, we saw what spiritual motherhood is like — enlightened, illumined, concentrated on the goal, the true aim of life, cognizant of the means and the methods of attaining to the goal, ever helpful, ever forgiving, never harbouring anger or regret, always warm and encouraging, displeased only when we obstinately resisted what should be welcomed. A spiritual mother is a marvellous person! She knows us inside out, our past, present and future and is ever intent on promoting our good, much more than we can do it ourselves.

Our human mother, who gave us birth and brought us up with such tender care, is no doubt a very dear person. But she does not know much about us, about the aim of life and renders us no help in realising it. She can also be very angry and long retain a resentment. She can be very demanding, claiming, complaining too. A mother is a marvellous individual in nature, representing as she does a striking measure of selflessness. But a spiritual mother helps our soul to be born, raises us to the spiritual status and shapes our destiny. Our relation with her is eternal, that of an immortal soul to an immortal soul. Our human mother is cherished for one life. She gave us, under nature’s law, this body and this mind. The spiritual mother operates under divine law and takes us across the rule and dominion of the ordinary unconscious nature.

Mother, you are marvellous, miraculous, a Divine Mother for a divine birth and a divine immortal life!

But were we, could we be children to You, conscious, loving, relying, happy, contented? Were we, could we be children feeling ever more safe in the Mother’s lap, always playing about Her, always running to Her in danger, ever full of Her, ever mindful of Her? Were we, could we be little children aware of ourselves as very very small or not at all aware of ourselves, but always full of the Mother, Mother as everything, all-knowing and all-powerful, an absolute resort and refuge for all our needs?

No, Mother, we were not. Obviously not. We were conscious of ourselves as important, capable of much, knowing a great deal and yet You were so gracious and kind. We approached You not very much in humility, in a true dependence and reliance and yet You helped us so large-heartedly, so effectively.

You did not mind our conceit and pride, our pretension and ostentation, because You knew we would one day be like little childrento You, simple, spontaneous, transparent, trustful, reliant and cheerful.

And the day did come when Your long working on us brought about within us, in our heart, the birth, the emergence of a sweet little thing, which just eagerly looked at You and wanted ever to look at You and which disowned all that we knew or could do or had been. It felt as knowing nothing, capable of nothing, just looking up to the Mother for everything. Mother, then we had the true experience of being a child, a sweet simple little thing. How wonderful it was!

The first experience of being a child was a marvellous thing. Ah, to get over being a grown-up, responsible, anxious, apprehensive, calculating, important, ‘wise’, was a relief — a real relief. And to be a simple little child, sure and safe in the Mother’s lap, an entire comfort.

Then we really discovered You as the true eternal mother, whom we could never lose in life.

How sad we then felt about our earlier impudence, self-conceit, self-importance, condescension in our dealings with You! We had called ourselves Your children, but we had not been.

We could not be children. Childlikeness was not our quality.

You were, Mother, always a mother, always, but we were not children, never.

But we did get reborn as children and then, Mother, You revealed Yourself to us as the eternal Divine Mother that You truly are and we Your eternal divine children, ever happy to live in You, with You, for You.