Afflicted by the sorrows of the world we earnestly pray for the Divine; but when the Divine comes to us we hesitate to accept it — such is the falsehood and contradiction in our earthly nature!
The central being in us aspires to the divine life, but the different parts passionately cling to the earthly life, and obstinately refuse to give up the old ways and the old habits. We seek to open us to Thee, Mother, but our mind brings in all sorts of rambling thoughts which veil Thy presence from us. We seek immortal joy, yet our senses persistently pull us towards the poor, mixed, limited pleasures of the earth. We pray for heavenly light, but when it comes to us we fail to recognise or accept it. Thus, our life becomes a curious mixture of truth and falsehood, of light and darkness, of joy and sorrow.
We would have the divine life, but recoil from fulfilling the conditions. We want the truth but would not reject the untruth in us. We would reach heaven but at the same time live on earth. It is no wonder that, in spite of all our attempts to rise, we remain where we are.
It is Thy grace alone, Mother, that can lift us from these self-contradictions, and establish us in the real truth of our being.
* * *
Nothing in the world can cause us any disturbance, unless we ourselves allow us to be disturbed. We forget our true self, we identify ourselves with the lower movements of nature, and so we ceaselessly suffer from disturbances.
Truth as well as falsehood are continually coming to us; we are afraid that we may accept the falsehood and reject the truth; we are afraid that in our ignorance, Mother, we may do anything against Thy divine will; we are sorely disturbed if any wrong or false movement takes place in us. By this fear and this disturbance we invite more mischief and sorrow.
We must have courage, we must remember that as long as we have sincerity, Thy grace will never recede from us. Thou knowest our strength as well as our weakness. We ourselves may misunderstand or misinterpret us, but Thou readest our heart like an open book. We can rest absolutely contented with the sincerity of our surrender; Thy grace will deliver us from all error, from all falsehood.
Whatever change or movement may take place in our nature, we have to observe it calmly, seated in our immutable self, and continually offer the whole play of our nature to Thee, Mother, to be transformed. The more pure and intense our devotion to Thee, Mother, the more joyful and triumphant becomes the whole process of our transformation.
