The year 1933
What is the outer consciousness? Is it connected with the inner being?
The outer consciousness is that which usually expresses itself in ordinary life. It is the external mental, vital, physical. It is not connected very much with the inner being except in a few — until one connects them together in the course of the sadhana.
Is it not true that our vital lays bare all our hidden desires and impulses?
It is not the vital that does that. It is either the psychic or something from the inner mind or the higher consciousness.
I did some offering, but something was kept back. Someone from within me was constantly beating me for keeping that back. So there was depression.
What was important in either case was not the outward action but the movement behind it. The exterior action is important only because of the inner state or motive it expresses. Your inner being was calling your attention to a defect in the inner movement — to the attachments that were there.
You once said about an action: “Because you did it from the outer mind and vital instead of from within.” How am I to receive the necessary guidance from within?
You have to be conscious of your inner being.
I would very much like to bring out my inner being and live in it.
If you call down the higher consciousness, its descent of itself will show you your inner being as separate from the outer. Until then you can only go on observing yourself and the movements of your nature till you see the difference.
Does the inner being lie hidden? Will it never express itself through the outer before the outer is transformed?
If the inner being does not manifest or act, the outer will never get transformed.
Does the inner being open to the Mother by itself?
The inner being does not open except by sadhana, or by some psychic touch in the life.
What goes on so long as it is shut up?
It is the outer being that acts with as much of the inner influence as can filter through the closed centres.
When the inner being is shut up, isn’t there a psychic sadness and, as a result, depression?
The psychic sadness is of a purifying and not a depressing kind.
How do the outer and the inner being become one?
By your becoming conscious in the inner being and living in it, the outer is then only an instrument and as soon as this instrument is filled with what is in the inner consciousness, it becomes a mere prolongation of the inner.
When in the state of passivity should I go on observing the movements?
You can go on observing and at the same time call for the inner will to guide.
What is this part which feels like opening to the Mother through writing, even when it is the same thing that goes on being repeated?
It may be the inner mental, it may be the psychic.
The year 1934
It means that you feel a consciousness within you which is calm and silent, not disturbed by external thoughts, grief or disturbance — as when the sea is disturbed on the surface but below the surface all is still and calm.
To throw oneself out means to externalise the consciousness so that it is dispersed, not concentrated, running about after outer things, obeying superficial and lower impulses and without contact with the inner being.
The inner being is not usually unquiet but it can be quiet or unquiet like the outer.
The psychic can have peace behind it — but the inner mind, vital and physical are not necessarily silent — they are full of movements. It is the higher consciousness that has a basis of peace.
My inner concentration and quietude seem to be extending outwards. I feel quietude and can concentrate with eyes open. Now I would like to ask you one question. When one leads an inner life, how does one deal with the outer activities?
They are dealt with by the Force that works through the being.
When I feel drawn into the inner being my consciousness still remains aware of all the things of the outer world, though usually it does not react to their impacts. Does not this remaining consciousness of external phenomena mean that my inward turning is incomplete?
No, why should it? To live in the inner being it is not necessary to become unconscious of external things. One is conscious of them, but not affected or controlled by them or subject to the ordinary reactions.
The “whole nature” does not so easily change. What has to be done is to get the inner being spiritualised by a higher consciousness.
As for the vital, there is always something in it that resists and tries to retard, but if the inner being opens sufficiently and you can live in the inner being, peace can descend and establish itself there in such a way that the vital movements of the surface may be there, but will not be able to break the inner peace.
When one lives an inner life, does not one come in touch with the psychic and bring about its leadership?
Not always at once. There is the inner mind, vital, physical. Many live a long time in that. The psychic is the inmost.
Till the evening the consciousness was in such a state that I could not make out anything. Along with the inner quietude it experienced a condition never before felt. It remained quite indifferent to what the outer being did and it stood on its own as if waiting for something.
It is some part of the inner being that has entered into quietude and separated itself from the external nature.
Usually it is my mind that determines and formulates the aspiration. But in today’s silence, I saw the aspiration surging up spontaneously and harmoniously in a ready-made form!
So much the better. It is the inner being that has become active.
During the work also, though the mind was busy with thoughts, there was stillness, firm and solid, behind the activity.
Very good.
Does the above experience mean that my consciousness was not only in the inner being but on some higher plane?
It is the inner being. But the stillness comes from the higher consciousness.
It is sufficient to begin with if there is a constant inner stillness not disturbed by any thoughts or movements on the surface.
If the inner being did sadhana behind the surface or during the sleep, would I not know it as I do about my dreams?
Not necessarily — the inner being can do many things which the surface mind does not know.
People do not feel all that is going on in them — very little comes to the surface of the ordinary consciousness.
If you feel emptiness, peace, and silence in the midst of the most restless activities, the inner being cannot have withdrawn.
