As long as I lived the life of ignorance, the mechanism of egoism and desire was necessary for my self-development. But now that I am being taken up into the light of Thy consciousness, Mother, that mechanism is absolutely unnecessary; it is, on the other hand, a great obstacle and must disappear.
Let me no more act from attachment or desire or blind instinct, but respond only to impulses coming directly from Thee; let me not seek to satisfy the ego, but offer all my life and action as a sacred sacrifice to the supreme Divine. Let me not seek light and power for my own sake, in my own limited way, but offer my whole being and self to Thee to be used absolutely for Thy purpose in Thy own perfect and divine manner.
But the old mechanism of the lower Nature is so persistent! The physical mind with its crude light, most limited and ignorant, would not believe in divine possibilities; it persistently interferes and creates confusion. The impure vital cannot show up itself in the full light of Thy presence, but hiding its desires in dark comers seems to bide its time. The mind eagerly receives whatever light it can from Thee and seeks to use it in its own way for its own purpose.
I cannot escape from the bonds of this terrible mechanism unless Thou, in Thy Grace, lift me and take up my whole life into Thy divine being and consciousness.
